ugg ladies gloves Bored Imgur retail employee imagines lives of shoe buyers
‘Charles, 24, works at dad’s law firm, drives a Prius and likes cocaine’: Bored store employee hilariously imagines the lives of potential customers based on the SHOES they might buy
A shoe salesperson posted photos of various pairs of shoes on social media earlier this week with superimposed captionsFor each pair of shoes, they imagined a character who is presumed to be the typical person who would be tempted to purchase the shoesA pair of grey Ugg boots was deemed to belong to a 19 year old called Kristynne, who ‘likes boy bands and tacos’ and ‘calls her father Daddy’Elegant low boots, meanwhile, were branded as belonging to ‘Simon, 26’, a ‘tall, dark’ man who ‘writes moody poetry’ and ‘has more sex than you’By
Sounds fun: One of the characters invented by the Imgur user is a 49 year old woman named Crystal with short spiky hair and a taste for well done steak
Ghostify, who published his shots in two separate galleries under the title If The Shoe Fits, provided a simple explanation as to why they were driven to launch the creative project, writing simply: ‘Got bored at work.’
For each imaginary character, Ghostify provided a name, an age, as well as several character traits.
Among the wonderfully descriptive captions, a pair of grey Ugg boots was deemed to belong toa 19 year old called Kristynne, who ‘likes boy bands and tacos’, ‘tried whisky once, threw upand ‘calls her father Daddy’.
Crocs, on the other hand, were described as being fit for Chance, 17, who is ‘big boned, bit of a bully’ and ‘wears cutoff shirts’ while loving his four wheeler.
Backstory: The Imgur user could picture these black loafers in the wardrobe of 53 year old Patricia, who is waiting for retirement and stuck in an unhappy marriage
At the opposite end of the spectrum, some work appropriate shoes were considered ideal for Charles, 24, who ‘works for his dad’s law firm, drive a Prius, went to Duke’, and enjoys cocaine.
a pair of mint green sneakers were made out to belong to Veronica, a 32 year old who likes to try a new diet every six months, ‘has a C section scar and does Pilates on Wednesdays’ while spending her entire time in sports bras.
Ghostify also encountered elegant ankle boots, which they imagined were made for 26 year old Simeon, a ‘tall, dark’ man who ‘writes moody poetry’, ‘has more sex than you’, ‘wears scarves’ and ‘has an emotional connection to a band he “discovered.” ‘
As for a pair of wedge mules, the Imgur user posited they belonged to Carol, a 60 year old woman who ‘calls your sweetheart’, ‘always sends you home with leftovers’, ‘volunteers at book drives’ and ‘cooks a mean casserole’.
Bro: Ghostify thought these brown shoes would work well for 23 year old Brad, a business graduate and beer pong aficionado who likes to pop his collar
In a different style, flat black sandals were apparently the perfect pick for Krista, 52, who has ‘wild hair’ and a ‘sunflower ankle tattoo’, identifies as a ‘cool mom’, enjoys gardening, and advocates in favor of recreational marijuana.
Ghostify was equally inspired by comfortable looking sandals, which he imagined belonged to 58 year old John, a grandfather who likes fishing and loves his wife, tells ‘pull my finger’ jokes and lets his grandchildren eat ice cream after his wife has gone to bed.
Perhaps John’s son was Carter, a 45 year old ‘cool dad’ and according to Ghostify the typical owner of a pair of flip flops, who manages to stay ‘perpetually tan’, ‘summers at the lake house with the kids’, and ‘treats his Golden Retriever like family’.
A pair of camo sneakers, meanwhile, were described as belonging to Sarah, 27, who ‘always has dark circles under eyes’ and ‘has a kid in another state she’s saving up to care for’.
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