discounted ugg boots uk t be able to give my kids what I had
I wont lie, I had an amazing childhood.
Some of what made my childhood great was the love, being close in age with my siblings and having parents who cared more if we were happy and kind than wildly successful.
Its tacky to talk about money, and I dont love doing it, but the truth is, I had an incredibly privileged upbringing. We went on divine holidays, had a gorgeous house and the idea of not being able to do something (within reason were talking going out for lunch not buying a plane) because of the cost just didnt occur.
Expensive activities like ballet or riding werent a question but a default. Going on holiday a couple of times a year seemed natural, and if I wanted to go on the school trip to Rome or spend a weekend with friends in London, there was always budget for that.
Reading Jessicas piece about growing up poor made me realise that growing up rich isnt about the amount of stuff you have, its about never having to know that your parents are worried about something.
Seeing the adults struggling is really, really scary as a child. Im not saying mine had plain sailing the entire time, they both worked incredibly hard and there were times when money was tighter, especially with three children, but there wasnt that sense of peril.
They had parents who we could have moved in with if we had to. They owned their house. They had well paying jobs. Money might be a bit of a worry, but it was never the overwhelming, draining, constant obsession that comes from being totally broke.
Having money might not make you happy, but being properly broke sure as hell makes you miserable.
I realised, reading Jessicas piece, just how much it worries me that I wont be able to give my children that same sense of unflinching stability.
We could afford to have children, technically. We wouldnt be homeless,
no one would starve. But it wouldnt be the childhood I had, the childhood I would want for my children. My husband, who attended an overcrowded and underfunded local comp feels even more strongly about private education than I do.
And then theres the undeniable fact that having money makes growing up a little bit easier. Having the right trainers or lipgloss or highlights might not make being a teenager painless, but they certainly help.
When I was a teenager I liked having real Ugg boots and a juicy couture t shirt. I dont expect to be able to give my children designer wardrobes or unlimited budgets, but I also hate the idea of them being mocked for having the wrong shoes or bag, especially when I never had to go through that myself.
Ive been called shallow or petty for expressing these sentiments before. Ive been told that this isnt what starting a family is about, that kids dont need stuff, they need love.
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Is it wrong to rent a home in a good schools catchment area?
I think thats naive. To be happy, you need both. Maybe not as much stuff as I had, but Ive been broke since Ive been an adult, and I know what its like. Its st.
Yes, being a parent is about more than buying things, but its also about providing as best you can for your child, and if that child feels ashamed to have their friends over after school because there might not be enough food for everyone, thats not shallow. Its heartbreaking.
Ive written before about the tension between wanting a baby and being told that that I should be getting pregnant before my fertility expires into a cloud of smoke, but also desperately wanting to be ready, to be able to provide. I know that. But I still cant escape this sense of guilt and panic that Im somehow dropping the ball because I wont be able to give my children literally everything that I had growing up.
Shouldnt being raised with so much privilege have equipped me to perpetuate the exact same thing for another generation?
It would be stupid to put off having children forever on the basis that I may never have as much money as the previous generation did. I know that. The best I can do is to offer myself a compromise.
Worrying about money, something so many of the people who I love grew up with, is corrosive. Not being able to go on holiday, or going to a cottage in England rather than Tuscany,